Study after study indicates that divorce is associated with bad outcomes for children. According to a summary of studies compiled by Focus on the Family:

• “Children from divorced homes suffer academically. They experience high levels of behavioral problems. Their grades suffer, and they are less likely to graduate from high school.
• “Kids whose parents divorce are substantially more likely to be incarcerated for committing a crime as a juvenile.
• “Because the custodial parent’s income drops substantially after a divorce, children in divorced homes are almost five times more likely to live in poverty than are children with married parents.
• “Teens from divorced homes are much more likely to engage in drug and alcohol use, as well as sexual intercourse, than are those from intact families.”

As if all that weren’t enough for divorced parents to worry about, the Washington Post reports that a study has found a link between divorce and the loss of religious commitment among young people. The Public Religion Research Institute says that a child whose parents have divorced has a nearly 50 percent higher chance of being nonreligious—part of the group often called “nones” today—as an adult than children whose parents did not divorce.

“The survey finds Americans who were raised by divorced parents are more likely than children whose parents were married during most of their formative years to be religiously unaffiliated (35% vs. 23% respectively),” the study says. “Americans who were raised by divorced parents are less likely than children whose parents were married during most of their childhood to report attending religious services at least once per week (21% vs. 34%, respectively).”

Andrew Root of Luther Seminary, author of “The Children of Divorce: The Loss of Family as the Loss of Being,” tells the Post that many churches have dropped the ball when it comes to these children. Root said that in recent decades, many Protestant pastors, especially in mainline churches, became reluctant to speak out against divorce for fear of offending or hurting those in their congregations.

Their silence provided no balm to kids caught in the middle, however. And now yesterday’s kids don’t see a reason to go to the church with their adult problems today.

Root notes, “They’re now thinking, ‘I’m dealing with depression.’ Or, ‘I’m dealing with my own marital troubles.’ The church must not have anything to say to me, because when I was 8 and dealing with divorce, my Sunday-school teacher didn’t even say, ‘Man, Amanda, that must be really complicated for you.’”

Another reason for churches’ silence on the matter could be the old myth that the breakup of an unhappy marriage produces happiness for both the parents and their children. It is rooted in a utilitarian worldview that says the key to life is minimizing pain and maximizing pleasure. And it isn’t even accurate.

Writing for Focus on the Family, Amy Desai says, “But we now have an enormous amount of research on divorce and children, all pointing to the same stubborn truth: Kids suffer when moms and dads split up. (And divorce doesn’t make mom and dad happier, either.)”

For Christians, of course, divorce should be seen as a last resort; many, perhaps most, believe it should happen only in cases of adultery, abuse, or desertion. In addition to the idea, as old as the Book of Genesis, that marriage is the union of man and woman into a permanent state of “one flesh,” the New Testament teaches that marriage presents a three-dimensional portrait of the relationship between Christ and His Bride, the church, before a watching world.

Certainly among those watching a Christian marriage will be the children who are its fruit. The book of Malachi, which speaks so strongly against divorce, keeps children clearly in mind:

. . . You cover the Lord’s altar with tears, with weeping and groaning because he no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand. But you say, “Why does he not?” Because the Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth. (Mal. 2:13-15)

While there are always exceptions—and no marriage witnessed by God and dedicated to Him can ever be considered second-class—in the normal course of events, children are integral to marriage on a spiritual level. So it’s not surprising that when a marriage ends, children can end up paying the spiritual price.

A few caveats and qualifications:

• This research should not be used as a club against parents, many of whom find themselves in situations beyond their control. It is a warning of what may happen. A divorce is no guarantee of a loss of faith in children. But it is associated with negative spiritual outcomes.
• This is not determinism. God is sovereign, and people are responsible for their own choices. I know two siblings whose parents are divorced; one is an unbeliever, while the other is a strong Christian. As we all know, some strong Christian parents in stable families raise children who leave the faith, while unbelieving or poor parents sometimes see their kids come to faith.
• Even if a child seems to be spiritually adrift, don’t give up hope. Some who wander away from faith may return. Prayer and God’s grace can overcome a multitude of sins.